


feel the way I did before

by drunkspacearchivist



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Immortality, Canon-Typical Violence, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everyone is Trans, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Jonny d'Ville and Nastya Rasputina are Siblings, Multi, No Beta We Get Airlocked Like Doc Carmilla, Out Doesn't Happen, because op is autistic, everyone is autistic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:48:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28973106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drunkspacearchivist/pseuds/drunkspacearchivist
Summary: The crew of the Aurora was having a relatively normal day when the screaming started.Or, Nastya wants to go Out, Jonny doesn't want her to go Out, and the aftermath.Title from Arms Unfolding by Dodie.
Relationships: The Aurora/Nastya Rasputina, The Mechanisms Ensemble/The Mechanisms Ensemble, nastya should be in the polycule
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	feel the way I did before

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a little ditty that's been bopping around in my head rent free for awhile. Comments and kudos appreciated!

The crew of the Aurora was having a relatively normal day when the screaming started.

Screaming on the Aurora wasn’t uncommon, of course. This was a bunch of crazy space pirates we’re talking about. But this screaming was different. It wasn’t the fun type of screaming. That would come from someone being tortured, either in the violence manner or the kinky manner. But this type of screaming was the sound of pure emotional agony. It wasn’t one that was normally heard.

Ashes and Brian looked up from their respective tasks, and made eye contact with each other. They did a quick round of rock-paper-scissors to see who’d go to check it out. They both played a gun, shrugged, and went to check it out together. 

The noise led them to one of the airlocks. Millenium before, hearing a fight around an airlock was your cue to hide in your quarters for a while, and to prepare for either Carmilla or Jonny to be gone for a while. But they were much rarer these days, and Ashes and Brian opened the door to see what was going on.

The sight was not what they were expecting in any means. Neither Brian nor Ashes could recall a time they’d seen Jonny and Nastya’s fights get physical. As far as they could tell, it wasn’t much of a proper fight. Jonny and Nastya lay on the floor, with Jonny on top of Nastya, wrestling for a gun. Both of them were screaming. After a moment, they realized that the two of them weren’t just screaming. Words could be made out of the shrieks.

“You don’t get to leave me!” Jonny yelled. “You can’t leave me! You won’t leave me!”

“Just let me die, let me fucking die!” Nastya yelled back.

Nastya had the size advantage, but Jonny was a better fighter. He got just enough control of the gun to blow Nastya’s brain out. Nastya went limp. 

Jonny’s screaming quieted, though instead of stopping, it morphed into whimpering. If it had been anyone else, you would have said that Jonny was crying. Jonny climbed off of Nastya, and grabbed her arm. He tried to pull her, but he wasn’t an exceptionally strong man, and Nastya’s blood made her heavier than she looked. He tried a few more times, before he finally yelled again.

“BRIAN!” Jonny screamed.

Brian was in such a state of shock, he didn’t move until Ashes pushed him towards Jonny. Ashes left the airlock, leading the other crewmates who heard the noises away.  
“Jonny?” Brian asked, softly. Jonny looked up at him. His mascara was running down his face, which was steadily turning red.

There was no mistake. Jonny was _crying_.

This was no time for Brian to be shocked. Jonny had called for him, and he needed to help Jonny.

“What happened?” Brian asked. Jonny didn’t answer, just turned back to Nastya and tried pulling her again. His movements started to get rougher, frantic, and Brian was starting to get worried that Jonny was going to hurt himself. Brian came up to Jonny, and put a hand on his back. Jonny flinched, dropping Nastya’s hand. Brian took the opportunity to pick Nastya off of the ground. Jonny took her hand again, and started pulling. Brian followed where Jonny led. He didn’t pry. There could be time for questions later. 

Brian paused outside of the door Jonny had led them too. “Jonny, I’m not going to put Nastya in your room to regenerate.”

Jonny started whimpering again, trying to open the door without letting go of Nastya.

“No, you can’t-”

“I have to!” Jonny whined.

“You have to do what?” Brian said, patiently.

“I have to watch her,” Jonny whined. “I have to watch her!”

Brian still didn’t quite understand what Jonny was trying to say, but he could tell it was something big, and something bad. However, he also knew from personal experience that Jonny’s room wasn’t exactly the most comfortable place to be.

“Jonny,” Brian said. “How about we take Nastya to my room? Can we compromise?”

Jonny whimpered, but after a moment he started pulling them to Brian’s room.

The crew declared Brian’s room to be the best bedroom to be in under any circumstance a few centuries back. Brian didn’t technically sleep, so it went relatively unused. But when Carmilla had first designed Brian, she wasn’t sure if he’d need to sleep, and decided to make him a massive bed anyways. It took up nearly the entire room, and was covered in soft blankets and pillows from a dozen different planets. He also hung fairy lights around the room, and he always made sure to keep a few nice candles in there. Overall, it was just a wonderful place to be, and a place where Brian could comfort Jonny and Nastya at the same time. 

“Shoes off before you get on the bed,” Brian said to Jonny, as he lay Nastya gently on the bed, after double checking to make sure the hole in her head had closed and that she wouldn’t bleed all over the bed. Jonny kicked off his boots, and climbed onto the massive bed, immediately curling up into Nastya’s side.

“Jonny,” Brian sighed.

“No!” Jonny snapped.

“You need to give her space-”

“I need to watch her!” Jonny buried his face in the crook of Nastya’s arm, and Brian sighed again.

“Can you watch her while laying on me?” Brian said. “You know Nastya doesn’t like to be touched if you don’t ask first.”

Jonny didn’t respond for a minute. Brian almost started talking again when Jonny said, “No.”

“Jonny-”

“You’re not laying down,” Jonny said in a small voice. Brian chuckled.

“Yeah, that’s not helpful, is it?”

Jonny shook his head. Brian walked around the bed, and layed down on the other side. Jonny scuttled over Nastya, and curled up on top of Brian’s chest, making sure his head was facing Nastya. Brian ran a hand through Jonny’s hair.

They lay there for a while, with Jonny crying softly into Brian’s chest. After a few minutes, Jonny seemed to calm down a bit. Brian decided to risk it.

“Jonny, what happened?” Brian asked softly.

Jonny sighed. He mumbled something into Brian’s chest.

“I didn’t hear that, love,” Brian said. Jonny shifted his head to look up at Brian. Brian decided that the fact he wasn’t looking at Nastya was a good sign.

“She wanted to go Out,” Jonny said.

“Out?” Brian asked. “Out in space?”

Jonny nodded. “She said she wasn’t coming back. She said we killed Aurora, and she was angry, and that she wasn’t going to come back.”

Brian felt a sinking feeling in his chest. “Aurora’s dead?”

“I dunno,” Jonny said. “She just said there was only one piece left of the real Aurora.”

“I don’t understand,” Brian said.

“Me neither,” Jonny mumbled.

They lay there in silence for a while, until Jonny tipped his chin back up and looked at Brian.

“Can you promise, Brian?” Jonny asked. “Promise you’ll make her stay?”

Brian wanted to tell Jonny that wasn’t something he could promise, that anyone could promise. Brian wanted to tell Jonny that if Aurora was really dead, that they couldn’t stop Nastya from being upset. That they couldn’t stop her from leaving. That would be the truth.

But Brian was on EJM. Brian could lie.

“I promise,” Brian said. Jonny seemed satisfied, and closed his eyes. 

He drifted off a few minutes after that. Even after all these years, something about laying on Brian’s chest made Jonny fall asleep. Brian looked at his sleeping form, subtly amazed at how young he looked in this moment. 

And Brian looked over Jonny’s head, to Nastya’s regenerating form. And he hoped that there was a way to fix this problem. And he was scared that there was none.


End file.
